Forget my last post!

I'm happy. I am. I just was having a bad couple of days. But everything is so great now.
I think that life is great. Sometimes it just get hard!
I love Jackson and I love my mommy.
I love my job, too. It's rewarding and great.
Even if I'm sick right now, I'm happy. I couldn't be happier.

P.S. I love That '70s Show and What I Like About You
:)

I'm not happy right now.

I'm not quite sure why. I'm just like in a rut. I need something to change. Nothing extreme, of course, because that would be absolutely horrible. But something little. Something to look forward to instead of just the same little things everyday. The only thing that has changed is Jackson. He has a job and now I don't see him. He can't pick me up from school, which has like always been our thing. And pretty soon he won't be able to take me or pick me up from work. Fantastic. My mom told me today that I'm not allowed to get my license until report cards or something because I have to have good grades? But it's like WHAT THE HECK!? I kick butt in school right now. Like all I do is try to do well in school. I haven't missed a homework assignment in freaking forever. But whatever. I think it's dumb and illogical, but that's just me. I miss Amber. She always makes me feel better. No matter what. I wish I could see her.
I've been thinking about smoking a lot lately. Like more than usual. I'm dumb for being so judgemental about it, but I think I have a right. I don't like it at all. I can't believe I ever wanted to do it. I've grown up and the rest of the world should too.
Drug Free.
Now, goodnight.

I hate this.

I hate feeling total and utterly out of control of my life. I HATE IT! It's like I've had a great couple days but one bad thing happens and everything spirals out of control? Dramatic, right? Perfect. Just perfect.

I'm going to Courtney's three days in a row. Go me!

All the flowers that are in my room are dead. That's depressing.

I've made a conclusion. I'm emotional. SHOCKER!

I'm tired, annoyed, and emotional. Goodnight.

I wish

my life could literally have music go along with it. Like when an enemy would walk into a room the Darth Vader theme would play. And then when my heart was breaking a sad song would play. And then like a techno beat or something when I'm running. HAHAHA. Seductive music when other things are happening and then like "Cry" would play when I'm crying. Like how great? I'll make a chart of songs for each event.

Crying- Cry-Kelly Clarkson
Uplifting music- Gotta Get Thru This- Daniel Bedingfield.
Happy- That's How You Know- Demi Lovato
Enemy- Darth Vader Theme
Paycheck- Beautiful, Dirty, Rich- Lady Gaga
When Jackson Calls- Hello Beautiful- Jonas Brothers
When Mirella Calls- I Kissed a Girl- Katy Perry
When Courtney Calls- What Hurts the Most- Cascada
When my sister calls- Darth Vader theme ;)
When I walk into a room- Satisfaction- Benny Benassi :D
Love- Your Song- Ewan McGregor
Sad- Rooftop- Melissa McClelland
Sims 2- DotA- Basshunter
Running- All I Ever Wanted- Basshunter
Dancing- I Don't Know About You, But I Came Here To Dance- Forever the Sickest Kids
Car Dancing- Beating Heart Baby- Head Automatica

So far, that's my list. :)

Tada!

Well, I got home from Jackson's like two hours ago. I miss him, but he's at work.
I had amazing dreams last night. :D

Mirella, I love you a lot. I've had a total change in heart. I know that we've had a bunch of problems and we fight most of the time now, but I miss us. I know that we can be back the way we were it'll just take some work to earn both of our trust in each other again. I never once wanted to replace you with anyone. Courtney is my best friend, but I didn't replace you with her. Things happen. You and I grew apart and then I met Courtney but it seemed like those two events happened hand in hand. But it didn't. We can be best friends again. I promise. We'll make it happen :)

P.S. I love Jackson! 10 months, baby :)

So long.

Okay. It's been a long time since I really wrote something in my blog, which I guess could be a good thing.
Spring break.
Friday, I stayed at Courtney's and barely got two hours of sleep since I was coughing and throwing up the whole time. But I'm completely in love with her dog. Most beautiful thing in the world. That dog is so hyper and always happy to see you! I love him :) Not to mention that I love Courtney too! But I left her house at like seven in the morning and went home.
All of Saturday I spent in and out of sleep. I had to have help getting to the bathroom because my muscles were so weak. But Jackson stayed with me the whole time :D
Sunday was pretty much the same thing.
Monday I was pretty much drugged up with cold and flu medicine trying to make myself feel better by 5 for my flight to Utah :)
Tuesday morning Jackson and I got up, got dressed in our snow gear, and ran outside to play in the snow for like two hours! :D I've decided I'm in love with snow. We had snow ball fights and I made a snow angel :D After that we went to The Canyons and I took a half day ski lesson. The girl that I took the lesson with was a total butthead so I didn't really like skiiing that first day. The fact that I was still super sick didn't help.
Wednesday I took another half day ski lesson but this time was much better. The guy was so nice :D Then I went us the chair lift, which is the scariest thing in the world, and went down my first slope. The rest of the day, Jackson and I were skiing together down this one green. By the end of it, I wasn't scared at all!
That night Jackson got really sick.
Thursday, we had to stay home. But we watched Ameityville Horror, Moulin Rouge, Saving Private Ryan (Three times), and Rush Hour 2! :)
Friday was the same thing until 6 when we got into the car and went home. I was so happy to be home.
I was sick Saturday and today. But I love Jackson and we had a great time! I got Sims 2 and have been playing it almost none stop since I got it yesterday at one :)

I love my life! :D

Alright,

so. For three days straight I've been as sick as a dog. Seriously, I had trouble breathing I was so sick. 

I'm about to board a plan to Utah! 

I'm so excited. I love Jackson :D So great!

You know what?

I love life.
I love it so much.
How can I not?
Yeah, I'm completely stress ALL the time, but at the end of the day,
I have a fiance who loves me, a best friend that I love- Amber and I have another best friend that is great- Courtney.
My job is amazing.
I make a very nice salary and I get to watch three kids grow up.
I love it.
My mom is my best friend also :D
I love life.
Life is great.


On an ending note,
And every day
You're in my head
I want you to have you in my bed
You are the one
You're in my eyes
All I ever wanted in my life
-Basshunter

I went

shopping yesterday and it was great :)
I got a new phone, and it's basically the most beautiful thing in the world :)
My mommy is so great.
Jackson is amazing.
I love him a lot :D