Well.

This blog is for Courtney.

I'M SO FREAKING STRESSED. I'm going to explodeeeee.
Well, yeah. Just to let you know.

Favorite Shows

United States of Tara
Secret Diary of a Call Girl
AND
The L Word :)
All on tonight.
HARDCORE!

Seriously,

Fuck SlumDog Millionare.

Lord,

do I have a head ache or what?

Dear Jackson,

Tomorrow means it's been nine months. Oh my goodness. I didn't think that I could actually love someone for this long. I can't believe it. You are my world, baby :) Think about it. Almost seven months ago you asked me to marry you. I couldn't even take a breath before I said yes. You are my rock. My man. My sunshine. We're going to be together until the end of our world.
What do you say to the person you've said everything to? We both know that I'm madly in love with you. So what do I say now? How about I tell you why?
Can you count to nine?
1. You love me back.
2. You actually like when I sing.
3. You look into my eyes when we talk.
4. You laugh at my stupid jokes.
5. We can laugh and be goofy together.
6. You're always on my side.
7. You always let me win, you even let me cheat.
8. You take care of my when I'm sick.
9. You tell me every minute that you are in love with me.


I love you Jackson, we'll always be together.

You know what I hate?

I hate when you tell someone something and then they go and tell everyone.

Especially when it's something rather personal.

What a bitch.

They do this every time they get some new gossip.

What a blood-sucking freak.

YAY!

Go karma, get her. 

Everyone!

Happy Valentine's Dayyyy :)

Seriously.

Why can't things EVER be happy?

Day of love? Yeah. Suck it.

I hate Valentine's Day.

GOD.

I finally finished my outline and my World History story and it's a great feeling to have nothing to do right now. But tomorrow I have to freaking go to school early to print everything out so I guess I have something to worry about :/
But I'm giving Jackson his Valentine's Day present tomorrow and I'm getting my nails done, too.
But I'm so glad because I don't have to work so my day is all Jackson :)
I love him!
I just took a shower and I haven't taken a shower instead of a bath in like two weeks. I forgot how much I like showers :)
But I also forgot how hard it is so shave your legs in the shower!
HAHA.
I think Courtney is sleeping over on Sunday?
Hopefullyy :)

I love my life.
I love my fiance, even if I miss him terribly.
I love my best friends, even if I miss them both terribly.
God.
Life is great :)

I'm in photo!

I haven't blogged in like four days I think?

VALENTINE'S IS IN FOUR DAY!

I'm looking at Jackson's present right now!

I can't wait to give it to him because I think he's going to love it :)

CJ just sat next to me :) He' a cutie.

I love how we can get on the computers and text and listen to iPods and stuff without him caring.

Love it :)

I love Courtney :D

My Chapter Is Ending.

"This is now.
We're gone and there's nothing left.
Do you remember when we were so happy?
Do you remember the laughs we had?
How come everything I felt seems so umimportant to you now?
Everything that was us is gone now that time has past.
I'm finding it hard to keep going everyday.
Every minute that passes me by seems longer than the last.
Maybe I was too stupid to see what mistakes I was making.
Maybe I was too blind to see the gap that was growing between us.
The tears that tend to fall down my face don't matter to you.
I'm told to move on and let go of this, but I have no where to start.
I have no where to go.
I can't begin again.
I have nothing to begin with.
I can't start over.
It'll never be the same, nothing is the same.
The only person I love is walking farther and farther away from me.
Without you and your love, I promise, I'll be miserable.
The hardest part to being without you will be taking every breath, just to stay here, without you.
No one will know that pain I'll be in.
No one will know the thoughts that will run through my head.
I can't start again, I have no where to begin.
This is now, we're all said and done."

Dude.

I had the weirdest dream last night. But it was still kind of great. 

It had my bestest friend in the whole world in it. 

I think I was in Las Vegas, which isn't where she lives, but still. I was walking around town looking for a hotel with her boyfriend Joey. They were in a fight so he asked me to help them get along and get back together. We finally found the hotel and Joey ran off somewhere and then Jackson came over to me and was yelling at me for hanging out with another boy. But I made him leave and tried to find a worker to find which room Amber was in. They told me room 206 on the third floor! So I literally ran up  and she was like working in this store that was in her room. And I like ran over to her and we were jumping around and hugging and stuff and then Joey came in with this purple shirt (purple is her favorite color), it was so super cute. But she was really mad at him to she just threw it on the floor. He left and she was upset but she asked me if I wanted to go out and I said sure. So I was getting dressed in some of her clothes and I saw this shirt that she is wearing in one of her myspace pictures, which was cute but I put on this brown dress and this cute brown belt. And she was trying to get dressed too but then I grabbed the purple shirt and I handed it to her and she started crying and then I run over, but then I WOKE UP!

:(

I miss Amber. Really bad.

Katy Perry, of course.

"Is there a light at the end of road? I'm pushing everyone away, Cause I can't eel this anymore. I Can't feel this anymore. 

Have you ever been so lost? Know the way and still so lost. Another night waiting for someone to take me home. Have you ever been so lost? Have you ever been so lost?"

 

Love it. This woman speaks to me. Directly to mee :)

Gosh darn it.

I truly have a HATE for freaking video games.

I will become the ruler of the world, just to destroy every single video game ever made.

They're stupid. They rot your brain. They separate people from the world. And they  make people mean.

I hate them, and I gave you my reasons. So bleeh.

Such a good day,

for the most part. This morning kind of sucked though. Jackson and I got into a little fight because of something he said.
Like what the heck? I think that if you want someone to be dependent on you, don't yell at them when they finally. It doesn't take much for me to like someone but it takes months for me to trust someone. I just think it's not very fair to say that you can be dependent on you and then just take it back the second they do. It stinks.
ANYWAY.
The rest of the day was great :) School was fun, at least the people were. My first and third period are my least favorite classes of the day, but my second hour always cheers me up :)
LUNCH was so fun :) Courtney is so funny. This guy that sits next to me everyday always has this freaking HUGE dish of food. It's ridiculous. Today was fruit, vegetables, and like three cheeseburgers. INSANE. Then I blogged in fifth period, as you saw :) And then six and seven are great.
After school I went and bought two books, How to Love Like a Hot Chick, greatest book ever. And then I bought Six-Word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak :D I love them both!
Work was work haha.
After work, I got to go to Lychee with the love of my life :D So great. He's the most amazing person I could ever ask for.
I'm glad I'm marrying him.

:)
Bye!

Gosh.

My freaking teeth hurt. "Oh, the pain will be gone in twenty four hours"- crazy receptionist lady. Bullshit. A week and two days later, my teeth skill hurt. And what kind of person calk someone during school hours? Like I'm obviously in school so why would you call? Like that just doesn't make sense to me. WHATEVER!

I finally am caught up in Health :D I'm on top of it, I just can't fall behind again! I think I understand too hahaha. Not bull shitting it too much! 

Math is super hard for me though. Actually, geometry is not a freaking math class. It's a devil course. But I actually love my biology class. Mr. Boyarsky can be a creep but I think he's so super nice, I think I'm a good student in his class so he's nice to me :)

There's this crazy sub in Photography(the class I'm in right now) and he is trying to watch me type this up. He stands behind you and makes comments and tries to watch. It's creepy :/ I don't like it. He scares me.

I want this book Sammi was talking about, Six Memoirs About Love and Heartbreak, she has quotes from it and it looks so cute :) Excited! I think I'll go buy it right after school. 

Love it :) I'm still typing? HAHAHA. Creep:)

LATER!

In school :)

I love Courtney! She's like two doors down. GOD. Freaking Sammi is a blog goddess. Her blogs are amazing.

Courtney I love you! I'll see you soon pumpkin :D

GREAT Song.

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed
You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test
He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...You're the best

And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know


Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
AAnd bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...


Katy Perry, of course:)

Today was good.

:) Love life is great :) My best friend is simply great, even if she was mad at me at lunch ;) Work was fun today and I took a shower at Jackson's house? Random, I know. Love it :D
I love my life, love it, love it.

Okay. 12:30

isn't bad for getting off the computer. But I have a lot to do throughout the day tomorrow. I have a bunch of stuff due, lets hope I get it done.
Goodnight, maybe!

Online

health takes a lot of work. I have a 67% as of now, which sucks because I've been trying to hard to keep up and do the right things in school this year. I really wish that I wouldn't be so stressed all the time because it's really hard to balance my life, job, friends, Jackson, family, AND school. And doing chores around the house is okay with me but I barely have time to breath let alone be happy. I need a super break. People get mad at me a lot for always being absent a school but what they don't understand is when I'm absent, which is like once every week now, I need it. I need to catch up on my sleep, which I don't get. I am up almost every night to at least one in the morning, if not later. It's hard to be peppy when you are two seconds away from colapsing. I wish life would ease up, just a little :/

FUCK!

Today is Monday. My mom leaves early for work on Mondays, so I went back to sleep thinking that Jackson was coming over and was going to wake me up, but of course not! He overslept, meaning, I overslept to! I missed half the school day and I now my mom isn;t answering her phone so I don't know what to do. Like do I go to school? Or do I just miss the whole day? God! She should really freaking answer her phone. :/
Well I'm cleaning to make myself feel better! Byeeee.

FREAKING EXCITED!

United States of Tara and Secret Diary of a Call Girl are both on today! I'm in love with these shows. :)

Well.

My weekend sucked. And absolutely no one can help me do anything. I should be doing homework, but my mom forgot to put Word on my computer so I can't.

I don't care about football, so the game meant nothing to me.

And of course, we're fighting. Why do people have to change? Why can't people just stay the same. I loved the way things were. I loved the way he looked at me. God. I freaking loved the way things were but now, because of who I am and the stupid things I say, he changed.
I loved everything about him. I would have done everything for him, and I still would, but not as second nature. I miss the way he loved me back. I just think that people shouldmn't change once they've met their perfect point. He was perfect for me and now I'm not so sure. :/
I might be over thinking this or being unappreciative but, I don't know. I think I'm right too.