Mirellaaa :)

Is overr.

Seriously.

I think that it's stupid that I'm always hungry.
God.
I don't even like eat my feelings, I just am hungry. God. Fatty?

Hello.

I'm sixteen and I'm graduating high school in less than a year. I've found love in the most unlikely place and the love of my life, loves me back. My best friends are beautiful and mean the world to me. I'm growing out my life and forming a new one at sixteen. It blows my mind.

Hello!

It's freaking hot outside.
I'm eating a PPJ :)
Good life.

God.

I hate life.

Going

To Court's tonight.
I really like her new house, it's pretty :) Her mom is so nice!
I miss Jackson, I don't like that he works so much now. Four to close two days in a row. :( But at least we can still have sleepovers!

I love the song Heartless, by versions. By Kanye (love of my life) and The Fray! :)

Woo!

I'm so glad summer is almost over. Summer school is done. Harry Potter is absolutely amazing :)

I'm glad I'm alive.

God.

I hate having sad dreams :/

Yay!

I'm making Mac and Cheese :)

I seriously haven't posted

in like two weeks.
HA.
Well, stressed, overwhelmed and in love with Harry Potter is how I'm feeling right now :D

Hey Jacks!

I kind of have a crush on you :)

You know what I think?

I think that life is tiring.
I'm so tired constantly that I feel like I'm making myself sick and honestly, I'm fed up.
I just want to be a teenager that doesn't want to exceed and that doesn't want to do everything different.
And for one thing, I'm tired of acting like something or someone I'm not.

I'm generally sick and tired of life at this point.

Ahhh.

Summer :)
It's summer and I love having just a little time for life.
I go to school in the morning, and then I see Jackson, and then I go to work, and then I see Jackson :)
What a good life.

Court is in California, and I didn't realize how lame life is without being able to call her randomly to hang out.
Bummer.

I love Jackson!
And Court :)

So.

It's summer and I can't believe it!
Jackson is a graduate :)
It sucks that even though school is out, I still have to freaking work.
Lammeee.

Good life!

It's a good feeling

When you know someone is missing you back.
I miss Jacks a lot and he's at work.
I don't like him having a job, and I know that's selfish, but it's like at one point he was all mine. All he's attention was mine. And now he has a job to distract him. Wow. That is really selfish because I have a job and I can't be with him twenty four/seven but now that he can't be with me, it sucks!
I never found myself as a needy person, but oh my goodness, I really need him.
I'm so lame, and apparently I'm a horrible person! Well, I guess you can't really control how you feel but all you can do is let it be known.

I'm also discovering time is precious. This also has to do with the fact that I don't get to see a lot of my friends and family. Jackson is working a lot, which I don't like (which I obviously stated above), my mommy is working and I am too so there's no time for each other, Mirella and I are both too busy for each other, Court has been crazy busy with yearbook, etc. It really makes you appreciate the time you have with those you love. I wish that there were no jobs. Like you could do what you love and everything would be okay. Like why does money always have to be an issue? It's kind of ridiculous.

Lastly, my sister moved back in for the summer. I like my sister like a layout of mountains; very up and down. She's okay in small doses but when she recently realized that drinking is what "the thing to do" is, she's gone crazy with it. And then she got the back of her neck pierced? Like okay, that's not bad for most people but it's my sister, that's just not like her, or I guess that person that I thought she was. But with her moving back in is driving me absolutely insane. She is so messy it's disgusting. She leaves dirty towels around, doesn't put up her used dishes: but when she does she just throws them into the sink, and she uses all my stuff. I have a certain way of doing things and a certain order that they should be done in and she just freaking messes it all up! It's like she leaves me stuff around, or wastes it. She uses my shampoo, DVDs, make -up remover, etc. without asking! If you're going to use someone else's stuff, at least ask. That's that nice thing to do. But she's happy right now with a boy and I guess I'm happy for her, I just wish that she wouldn't do all the things that I hate because that makes it very hard for me to like her. Bummer.

Over all, good day. Finals today and tomorrow. No big at all. Summer school is next week or the week after that, pretty excited (or my mom would say "jazzed") about it :)

I hope all is well for whoever reads this :)

Happy 50th Post :)

Well, yesterday was Jackson and I's one year! How great is that?

We first went to lunch, my choice.

Than we watched a movie and had some us time.

Then we went swimming and he made me an amazing steak dinner. :)

I love Jackson a whole lot.

What is there to complain about?

Well, I have to retake my health class because I didn't fully understand the work I would have to put into this class, but it's okay because I don't mind retaking it. 

Guess what!

I love my life and I've been here, in this happiness, for a whole year.

:)

I love Court too!

Best friends :)

Tada :)

Look at him. He's so freaking cute :) He looks like a little baby in this! I'm in love with this boy. He's my baby. I think that I've never been more excited to marry him. I absolutely cannot wait.

This blog is dedicated to Jacks :) I love you babe!

P.S. You're my guardian angel :)

FREAKING EXCITED!

For prom :)

Ahh.

I hurt my tummy really bad :(
BUT! I had a pretty great day today :)
I drove around with my mommy all day and then went to dinner at Ariba's with Jackson and my mommy and then I went shopping with my mommy :) I got Dairy Queen and then I came home and Jackson came over :D I took a nice long bath and watched pointless TV!
:)
Great night!

Today!

Is Jackson and I's 11 month! :)

WHOA!

Love life :)

You're the best

and yes, I do regret
How I could let myself let you go.
Oh, now, now the lessons learned.
I touched and I was burned.
Oh I'm thinking you should know.

Oh and by the way,

the little things always matter. Always.

My sorries.

I'm sorry I want my love back.
I'm sorry that I'm afraid that I'm not loved.
And I'm really sorry that by being afraid of losing you, I'm pushing you away.
I love you and I wish that everything would be wonderful again.
I'm sorry for getting mad you a lot. I know it's wrong, I just love you and need your love, too. But I'mm changing, I promise. I'd trade it all in, just to be in your arms. I love you.


You're the person who's always been there for me. Even through the really hard times. I think you honestly kept me alive ha. I love you and I'm sorry for everything that ever happened between us. I'm sorry that I had pushed you away and literally was so rude to you for absolutely no reason. I'm glad we're friends again.


I'm sorry you always have to listen to me complain about him. I'm sorry that me and hdim have problems and I come to you. Sometimes I'm afraid that you are really annoyed with me. I don't want you to be, and I don't anything negative feelings from you!


I'm sorry I hurt you and rejected you so many times. But you have to know why, it's pretty obvious. You aren't the person I thought you were. I don't love you and I don't think I ever did.



I'm sorry you left the state and we grew apart. I hope you keep your promises. If you don't, I'm disappointed in you. I'm sorry for always yelling at you. I love you.


Hey, you're family. But you're a cunt. I'm sorry that you are absolutely and rude person. I'm sorry that I will stick up for myself and I'm sorry you're annoying.


I'm sorry that you're my boss. And I'm sorry you're a bitch and feel that you must order me around instead of just asking me. I'm sorry that you're my family too.


I'm sorry you don't know your three wonderful kids, you dick.


Most of all, I'm sorry that you had to deal with my teenage years. And I'm really sorry that we fight. I hate it, but I love you. I'm sorry that I never really get much time with you anymore. I know I'll regret giving this time away when I'm older. I'll make an effort, I promise. I love you. I'm glad I can call you family.



I'm sorry to everyone I've ever been mean to. It's not you most likely, it's probably something or someone else. But hey, it might even be your fault. Bitch.

Great Song.

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew
Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything
When someone said count your blessings now'fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew
:) Pink- Who Knew!

Love it.

OH!

I went to the doctor's today and now I have medicine and I can hear out of both my ears! :D
I miss Jackson and he's right next to me.

Hmm.

Well. I guess things aren't particularly good or bad?

Okay

So my dogs look pretty much like the most adorable thing on this planet. They went to the groomer and the Yorkies look so soft and cute and Tobey looks like his head was the only thing not shaved off. So cute!
I was working until 12 last night but that's okay because I drove to Jackson's house and slept there :)
I coughed for most of the night bu slept really well 10 A.M.- 1 P.M.!

I feel like everything is really good right now. Jackson and I are great. And the people that I normally don't talk to or fight with I'm talking to again. Like how great is that? All the bridges I ever burned are being built back up again.

But I miss two people the most right now. Amber and Calen. I miss Amber all the time because she's busy right now. Which is understandable. And I love her so I miss talking to her,even if I know she can't. And Calen was in my dreams last night. I was talking to someone and I saw him and he ignored me and then word got back to him that I was upset and then he was trying to make it up to me, but I wouldn't let him? I ignored him just like he did to me. Which is dumb of me. But now I am totally thinking about him. I hope he comes back soon because I definitely wouldn't mind seeing him soon.

I also had a dream that I couldn't ever go home again. I had to live in this old Mexican restuarant. I was crying most of the dream because I couldn't see my mom anymore. I remember trying to call her in my dream but the line was disconnected. :( It made me actually really sad. So I was pretty much all over my mom today!

My sister is cunt. Just for your information. She totally ruined my day. She yelled at me for not going to lunch with her. She yelled at me for not wanting to go to JoAnn's with her. And then she came, and when I say came I mean crashed, a special dinner with my mom and Jackson. Which was annoying. Then when I was trying to hang out with my mom, I ended up being forced to go to JoAnn's after all! She's so dumb. I know she just wants to hang out and be cool, but she just tries too hard. Like her getting a piercing on the back of her neck? WHO DOES THAT?! I mean seriously. That's ugly and trashy. Whatever. I'm over it.

In the long run, I love my life! Go me!

Forget my last post!

I'm happy. I am. I just was having a bad couple of days. But everything is so great now.
I think that life is great. Sometimes it just get hard!
I love Jackson and I love my mommy.
I love my job, too. It's rewarding and great.
Even if I'm sick right now, I'm happy. I couldn't be happier.

P.S. I love That '70s Show and What I Like About You
:)

I'm not happy right now.

I'm not quite sure why. I'm just like in a rut. I need something to change. Nothing extreme, of course, because that would be absolutely horrible. But something little. Something to look forward to instead of just the same little things everyday. The only thing that has changed is Jackson. He has a job and now I don't see him. He can't pick me up from school, which has like always been our thing. And pretty soon he won't be able to take me or pick me up from work. Fantastic. My mom told me today that I'm not allowed to get my license until report cards or something because I have to have good grades? But it's like WHAT THE HECK!? I kick butt in school right now. Like all I do is try to do well in school. I haven't missed a homework assignment in freaking forever. But whatever. I think it's dumb and illogical, but that's just me. I miss Amber. She always makes me feel better. No matter what. I wish I could see her.
I've been thinking about smoking a lot lately. Like more than usual. I'm dumb for being so judgemental about it, but I think I have a right. I don't like it at all. I can't believe I ever wanted to do it. I've grown up and the rest of the world should too.
Drug Free.
Now, goodnight.

I hate this.

I hate feeling total and utterly out of control of my life. I HATE IT! It's like I've had a great couple days but one bad thing happens and everything spirals out of control? Dramatic, right? Perfect. Just perfect.

I'm going to Courtney's three days in a row. Go me!

All the flowers that are in my room are dead. That's depressing.

I've made a conclusion. I'm emotional. SHOCKER!

I'm tired, annoyed, and emotional. Goodnight.

I wish

my life could literally have music go along with it. Like when an enemy would walk into a room the Darth Vader theme would play. And then when my heart was breaking a sad song would play. And then like a techno beat or something when I'm running. HAHAHA. Seductive music when other things are happening and then like "Cry" would play when I'm crying. Like how great? I'll make a chart of songs for each event.

Crying- Cry-Kelly Clarkson
Uplifting music- Gotta Get Thru This- Daniel Bedingfield.
Happy- That's How You Know- Demi Lovato
Enemy- Darth Vader Theme
Paycheck- Beautiful, Dirty, Rich- Lady Gaga
When Jackson Calls- Hello Beautiful- Jonas Brothers
When Mirella Calls- I Kissed a Girl- Katy Perry
When Courtney Calls- What Hurts the Most- Cascada
When my sister calls- Darth Vader theme ;)
When I walk into a room- Satisfaction- Benny Benassi :D
Love- Your Song- Ewan McGregor
Sad- Rooftop- Melissa McClelland
Sims 2- DotA- Basshunter
Running- All I Ever Wanted- Basshunter
Dancing- I Don't Know About You, But I Came Here To Dance- Forever the Sickest Kids
Car Dancing- Beating Heart Baby- Head Automatica

So far, that's my list. :)

Tada!

Well, I got home from Jackson's like two hours ago. I miss him, but he's at work.
I had amazing dreams last night. :D

Mirella, I love you a lot. I've had a total change in heart. I know that we've had a bunch of problems and we fight most of the time now, but I miss us. I know that we can be back the way we were it'll just take some work to earn both of our trust in each other again. I never once wanted to replace you with anyone. Courtney is my best friend, but I didn't replace you with her. Things happen. You and I grew apart and then I met Courtney but it seemed like those two events happened hand in hand. But it didn't. We can be best friends again. I promise. We'll make it happen :)

P.S. I love Jackson! 10 months, baby :)

So long.

Okay. It's been a long time since I really wrote something in my blog, which I guess could be a good thing.
Spring break.
Friday, I stayed at Courtney's and barely got two hours of sleep since I was coughing and throwing up the whole time. But I'm completely in love with her dog. Most beautiful thing in the world. That dog is so hyper and always happy to see you! I love him :) Not to mention that I love Courtney too! But I left her house at like seven in the morning and went home.
All of Saturday I spent in and out of sleep. I had to have help getting to the bathroom because my muscles were so weak. But Jackson stayed with me the whole time :D
Sunday was pretty much the same thing.
Monday I was pretty much drugged up with cold and flu medicine trying to make myself feel better by 5 for my flight to Utah :)
Tuesday morning Jackson and I got up, got dressed in our snow gear, and ran outside to play in the snow for like two hours! :D I've decided I'm in love with snow. We had snow ball fights and I made a snow angel :D After that we went to The Canyons and I took a half day ski lesson. The girl that I took the lesson with was a total butthead so I didn't really like skiiing that first day. The fact that I was still super sick didn't help.
Wednesday I took another half day ski lesson but this time was much better. The guy was so nice :D Then I went us the chair lift, which is the scariest thing in the world, and went down my first slope. The rest of the day, Jackson and I were skiing together down this one green. By the end of it, I wasn't scared at all!
That night Jackson got really sick.
Thursday, we had to stay home. But we watched Ameityville Horror, Moulin Rouge, Saving Private Ryan (Three times), and Rush Hour 2! :)
Friday was the same thing until 6 when we got into the car and went home. I was so happy to be home.
I was sick Saturday and today. But I love Jackson and we had a great time! I got Sims 2 and have been playing it almost none stop since I got it yesterday at one :)

I love my life! :D

Alright,

so. For three days straight I've been as sick as a dog. Seriously, I had trouble breathing I was so sick. 

I'm about to board a plan to Utah! 

I'm so excited. I love Jackson :D So great!

You know what?

I love life.
I love it so much.
How can I not?
Yeah, I'm completely stress ALL the time, but at the end of the day,
I have a fiance who loves me, a best friend that I love- Amber and I have another best friend that is great- Courtney.
My job is amazing.
I make a very nice salary and I get to watch three kids grow up.
I love it.
My mom is my best friend also :D
I love life.
Life is great.


On an ending note,
And every day
You're in my head
I want you to have you in my bed
You are the one
You're in my eyes
All I ever wanted in my life
-Basshunter

I went

shopping yesterday and it was great :)
I got a new phone, and it's basically the most beautiful thing in the world :)
My mommy is so great.
Jackson is amazing.
I love him a lot :D

Well.

This blog is for Courtney.

I'M SO FREAKING STRESSED. I'm going to explodeeeee.
Well, yeah. Just to let you know.

Favorite Shows

United States of Tara
Secret Diary of a Call Girl
AND
The L Word :)
All on tonight.
HARDCORE!

Seriously,

Fuck SlumDog Millionare.

Lord,

do I have a head ache or what?

Dear Jackson,

Tomorrow means it's been nine months. Oh my goodness. I didn't think that I could actually love someone for this long. I can't believe it. You are my world, baby :) Think about it. Almost seven months ago you asked me to marry you. I couldn't even take a breath before I said yes. You are my rock. My man. My sunshine. We're going to be together until the end of our world.
What do you say to the person you've said everything to? We both know that I'm madly in love with you. So what do I say now? How about I tell you why?
Can you count to nine?
1. You love me back.
2. You actually like when I sing.
3. You look into my eyes when we talk.
4. You laugh at my stupid jokes.
5. We can laugh and be goofy together.
6. You're always on my side.
7. You always let me win, you even let me cheat.
8. You take care of my when I'm sick.
9. You tell me every minute that you are in love with me.


I love you Jackson, we'll always be together.

You know what I hate?

I hate when you tell someone something and then they go and tell everyone.

Especially when it's something rather personal.

What a bitch.

They do this every time they get some new gossip.

What a blood-sucking freak.

YAY!

Go karma, get her. 

Everyone!

Happy Valentine's Dayyyy :)

Seriously.

Why can't things EVER be happy?

Day of love? Yeah. Suck it.

I hate Valentine's Day.

GOD.

I finally finished my outline and my World History story and it's a great feeling to have nothing to do right now. But tomorrow I have to freaking go to school early to print everything out so I guess I have something to worry about :/
But I'm giving Jackson his Valentine's Day present tomorrow and I'm getting my nails done, too.
But I'm so glad because I don't have to work so my day is all Jackson :)
I love him!
I just took a shower and I haven't taken a shower instead of a bath in like two weeks. I forgot how much I like showers :)
But I also forgot how hard it is so shave your legs in the shower!
HAHA.
I think Courtney is sleeping over on Sunday?
Hopefullyy :)

I love my life.
I love my fiance, even if I miss him terribly.
I love my best friends, even if I miss them both terribly.
God.
Life is great :)

I'm in photo!

I haven't blogged in like four days I think?

VALENTINE'S IS IN FOUR DAY!

I'm looking at Jackson's present right now!

I can't wait to give it to him because I think he's going to love it :)

CJ just sat next to me :) He' a cutie.

I love how we can get on the computers and text and listen to iPods and stuff without him caring.

Love it :)

I love Courtney :D

My Chapter Is Ending.

"This is now.
We're gone and there's nothing left.
Do you remember when we were so happy?
Do you remember the laughs we had?
How come everything I felt seems so umimportant to you now?
Everything that was us is gone now that time has past.
I'm finding it hard to keep going everyday.
Every minute that passes me by seems longer than the last.
Maybe I was too stupid to see what mistakes I was making.
Maybe I was too blind to see the gap that was growing between us.
The tears that tend to fall down my face don't matter to you.
I'm told to move on and let go of this, but I have no where to start.
I have no where to go.
I can't begin again.
I have nothing to begin with.
I can't start over.
It'll never be the same, nothing is the same.
The only person I love is walking farther and farther away from me.
Without you and your love, I promise, I'll be miserable.
The hardest part to being without you will be taking every breath, just to stay here, without you.
No one will know that pain I'll be in.
No one will know the thoughts that will run through my head.
I can't start again, I have no where to begin.
This is now, we're all said and done."

Dude.

I had the weirdest dream last night. But it was still kind of great. 

It had my bestest friend in the whole world in it. 

I think I was in Las Vegas, which isn't where she lives, but still. I was walking around town looking for a hotel with her boyfriend Joey. They were in a fight so he asked me to help them get along and get back together. We finally found the hotel and Joey ran off somewhere and then Jackson came over to me and was yelling at me for hanging out with another boy. But I made him leave and tried to find a worker to find which room Amber was in. They told me room 206 on the third floor! So I literally ran up  and she was like working in this store that was in her room. And I like ran over to her and we were jumping around and hugging and stuff and then Joey came in with this purple shirt (purple is her favorite color), it was so super cute. But she was really mad at him to she just threw it on the floor. He left and she was upset but she asked me if I wanted to go out and I said sure. So I was getting dressed in some of her clothes and I saw this shirt that she is wearing in one of her myspace pictures, which was cute but I put on this brown dress and this cute brown belt. And she was trying to get dressed too but then I grabbed the purple shirt and I handed it to her and she started crying and then I run over, but then I WOKE UP!

:(

I miss Amber. Really bad.

Katy Perry, of course.

"Is there a light at the end of road? I'm pushing everyone away, Cause I can't eel this anymore. I Can't feel this anymore. 

Have you ever been so lost? Know the way and still so lost. Another night waiting for someone to take me home. Have you ever been so lost? Have you ever been so lost?"

 

Love it. This woman speaks to me. Directly to mee :)

Gosh darn it.

I truly have a HATE for freaking video games.

I will become the ruler of the world, just to destroy every single video game ever made.

They're stupid. They rot your brain. They separate people from the world. And they  make people mean.

I hate them, and I gave you my reasons. So bleeh.

Such a good day,

for the most part. This morning kind of sucked though. Jackson and I got into a little fight because of something he said.
Like what the heck? I think that if you want someone to be dependent on you, don't yell at them when they finally. It doesn't take much for me to like someone but it takes months for me to trust someone. I just think it's not very fair to say that you can be dependent on you and then just take it back the second they do. It stinks.
ANYWAY.
The rest of the day was great :) School was fun, at least the people were. My first and third period are my least favorite classes of the day, but my second hour always cheers me up :)
LUNCH was so fun :) Courtney is so funny. This guy that sits next to me everyday always has this freaking HUGE dish of food. It's ridiculous. Today was fruit, vegetables, and like three cheeseburgers. INSANE. Then I blogged in fifth period, as you saw :) And then six and seven are great.
After school I went and bought two books, How to Love Like a Hot Chick, greatest book ever. And then I bought Six-Word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak :D I love them both!
Work was work haha.
After work, I got to go to Lychee with the love of my life :D So great. He's the most amazing person I could ever ask for.
I'm glad I'm marrying him.

:)
Bye!

Gosh.

My freaking teeth hurt. "Oh, the pain will be gone in twenty four hours"- crazy receptionist lady. Bullshit. A week and two days later, my teeth skill hurt. And what kind of person calk someone during school hours? Like I'm obviously in school so why would you call? Like that just doesn't make sense to me. WHATEVER!

I finally am caught up in Health :D I'm on top of it, I just can't fall behind again! I think I understand too hahaha. Not bull shitting it too much! 

Math is super hard for me though. Actually, geometry is not a freaking math class. It's a devil course. But I actually love my biology class. Mr. Boyarsky can be a creep but I think he's so super nice, I think I'm a good student in his class so he's nice to me :)

There's this crazy sub in Photography(the class I'm in right now) and he is trying to watch me type this up. He stands behind you and makes comments and tries to watch. It's creepy :/ I don't like it. He scares me.

I want this book Sammi was talking about, Six Memoirs About Love and Heartbreak, she has quotes from it and it looks so cute :) Excited! I think I'll go buy it right after school. 

Love it :) I'm still typing? HAHAHA. Creep:)

LATER!

In school :)

I love Courtney! She's like two doors down. GOD. Freaking Sammi is a blog goddess. Her blogs are amazing.

Courtney I love you! I'll see you soon pumpkin :D

GREAT Song.

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed
You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test
He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...You're the best

And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know


Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
AAnd bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...


Katy Perry, of course:)

Today was good.

:) Love life is great :) My best friend is simply great, even if she was mad at me at lunch ;) Work was fun today and I took a shower at Jackson's house? Random, I know. Love it :D
I love my life, love it, love it.

Okay. 12:30

isn't bad for getting off the computer. But I have a lot to do throughout the day tomorrow. I have a bunch of stuff due, lets hope I get it done.
Goodnight, maybe!

Online

health takes a lot of work. I have a 67% as of now, which sucks because I've been trying to hard to keep up and do the right things in school this year. I really wish that I wouldn't be so stressed all the time because it's really hard to balance my life, job, friends, Jackson, family, AND school. And doing chores around the house is okay with me but I barely have time to breath let alone be happy. I need a super break. People get mad at me a lot for always being absent a school but what they don't understand is when I'm absent, which is like once every week now, I need it. I need to catch up on my sleep, which I don't get. I am up almost every night to at least one in the morning, if not later. It's hard to be peppy when you are two seconds away from colapsing. I wish life would ease up, just a little :/

FUCK!

Today is Monday. My mom leaves early for work on Mondays, so I went back to sleep thinking that Jackson was coming over and was going to wake me up, but of course not! He overslept, meaning, I overslept to! I missed half the school day and I now my mom isn;t answering her phone so I don't know what to do. Like do I go to school? Or do I just miss the whole day? God! She should really freaking answer her phone. :/
Well I'm cleaning to make myself feel better! Byeeee.

FREAKING EXCITED!

United States of Tara and Secret Diary of a Call Girl are both on today! I'm in love with these shows. :)

Well.

My weekend sucked. And absolutely no one can help me do anything. I should be doing homework, but my mom forgot to put Word on my computer so I can't.

I don't care about football, so the game meant nothing to me.

And of course, we're fighting. Why do people have to change? Why can't people just stay the same. I loved the way things were. I loved the way he looked at me. God. I freaking loved the way things were but now, because of who I am and the stupid things I say, he changed.
I loved everything about him. I would have done everything for him, and I still would, but not as second nature. I miss the way he loved me back. I just think that people shouldmn't change once they've met their perfect point. He was perfect for me and now I'm not so sure. :/
I might be over thinking this or being unappreciative but, I don't know. I think I'm right too.

Mhmm!

Oh man, I forgot something. 

I love Jackson :)

Love it :)

I just got out of the hot tub! :D Jackson and I have the house to ourselves and I LOVE IT! We get to play house. 

Today, I found an old ring and it's a princess crown. I think it's super freaking cute :)

These little girls today (like seventh grade, if that) were trying to hit on Jackson. It was the funniest thing ever. 

Thank you for reading :)

First Blog

Well, this is my first blog entry! :) I don't know if this will even be worth reading but I think I'll have fun writing it. I never had a diary when I was little so I think it'll kind of but like that, except that people can openly read this? 

So I guess I'll start with talking about my night. Courtney, Alec, Jackson, and I all went bowling! :D The actual bowling was super fun but the night itself wasn't the best. Jackson, my fiance, and I were fighting the whole freaking night over absolutely nothing. It was ridiculous. I figured it all out I think. Jackson got a ticket, so he was upset and when I tried to be there for him, he yelled and got mad, but I think he didn't mean to hurt my feelings. So we already were in a freaking fight like three minutes into the night. But then I saw Courtney, my bestest friend, and Alec, her boyfriend, which brighten up the mood already. Courtney, being the best ever already knew that something was wrong. So I told her and the whole night was just a mess.

Oh well, everything is good. I really had fun bowling, I think I'll do it again soon. :)